sooo i had another ovarian cyst rupture wednesday night... not fun, or comfortable, at ALL

i was in school for just a little while on thursday when my psych professor convinced me not to take my midterm... which kind of sucked because i wouldnt have gone home

bry and i havent been doing the greatest, so if i bitch alot about him here, forgive me

i also havent been working out because i couldnt even stand up straight, but my mom got my grandma's elliptical and put it in her garage cuz theres no room for it in my apartment, whoo hooo!!!!

i'll update again soon :)

my cable is out too... and i lovvvvvves my tv... so im very confused and disoriented without it, lol

i need to remember to update, lol

ive been working out well... gonna measure today and start to keep up with it... im ashamed to post the measurements though because its absolutely disgusting... im so huge its riduculous

my head is killlllling me... i think i need a bubble bath

didnt workout today, had school, and i feel like my head is gonna explode

so i worked out... i did about 25 minutes of a cardio workout video... then i turned up the music and did dishes and cleaned up the house for another 15 minutes... better than nothing, i guess, lol....

ive been really struggling lately, because not cutting has been getting harder and harder... i dont know why.. i mean i dont think things are any more stressful now than theyve been the last like 2 years.. which is how long its been since ive cut.. wow.. its so weird to know its been that long, ya know?

im not going to weigh myself, i dont want to know how much i weigh... im just gonna workout as much as i can... and i might need to work my way up... i figure doing at least a portion of the video everyday will get me into the habit, and hopefully i will start to last longer on it... its a good video (cheesy, like all early 90s vids,lol) but it gets me moving, and its not so difficult that i dont know how to do anything... when taht happens, i get frustrated and quit completely, lol.

my afternoon/evening to do list:

find 2 more articles for mnt

do article summary for biochem

do some research on Quebec

read "le temps ne passe pas" for french class

dishes

load of laundry

it makes me so much better to write on here... i need to do it more often to help me relax... i think it might be more effective than collapsing on the floor of the shower in tears :/ i feel bad, cuz i dont know how to tell bry whats going on (bry is the husband)... i just odnt feel like me lately... i think its the zoloft... i dont think its working the way its supposed to be... ooh another thing, work has SUCKED lately.. its been soooooooooooooooo slow... i dunno why... guess cuz monday was a holiday... still it sucks... i was logged into work from 7am saturday until 7pm sunday, and i had 3 calls i think... one of them was at 1am... but that was it... it was crazy... monday i dont think i had any calls... havent had any today and its already 3... 4 more hours to go... i dont want to work tonight cuz i dont want to miss lost... hopefully friday will be better :)